DIXIE STAMPEDE

What can I say about the day we just had. Please...if you're going to read any of these posts...read this one. Last night we realized we had over stayed our welcome at Mikey sisters house in North Carolina. We met some girls in South Carolina when we played in Myrtle Beach a few days ago. They told us we could come stay at their house on our day off and we could go to this thing called "Dixie Stampede" which is basically like Medieval Times with the civil war.

We drove here last night and showed up to a beautfiul suburban home in a neighborhood called "The Farm." The house is complete with two living rooms, 2 bathrooms and much more. Think the party plex but not a shit hole. We stayed up super late playing a $1,000 acoustic guitar signed by Michelle Branch and watching The Dark Knight on blu-ray. Watch it in Blu-Ray if you haven't yet.

I woke up today to a melting pot of smells infultrating my nostrils. I came downstairs still in a daze due to my recent spells of dizziness (I might have vertigo). Cooking in the kitchen were our 3 new friends making eggs, bacon, sausage, potatoes and biscuits. I nearly weeped at the beautiful sight of it all. We all gorged ourselves on a bountiful breakfast and talked about how awesome our lives were. Me, Vic, Nick and Mitch threw a football around outside to try to burn off some of the food we just ate.

The beach was calling our name. We grabbed the football and piled into a couple of cars and headed to the majestic Myrtle Beach. After kicking off our shoes and rolling up our pants we dipped our feet into the freezing water which turned them blood red. We picked captains and made some teams for a gentlemens game of football. Me and Tarlowski were captains. Teams were Me, Vic, Danny and Mitch vs. Tarlowski, Miller, Matty and Tyler. Aaron played all time offense. It was a hard fought battle but Tarlowski's team came out victorious due to Matt Vicars dropping THREE consecutive passes that all could have won the game for my team. God damnit Vic.

We drove to Dolly Partons Dixie Stampede not knowing what to expect. The building was probably the size of the white house. We had 13 free tickets to this show we knew nothing about. We chilled with some horses outside of the show then went in to take our seats. First we got a group picture that we will be purchasing when we get home from tour. We took our seats in the first arena for our pre show entertainment. We got free drinks and then witnessed the best stage show I have ever seen. This man was the master of juggling, balancing things and winning over a crowd. This man at one point balanced a 8 ft ladder on his chin! Words can't express how great his show was. I have a new hero.

We piled into a gigantic auditorium that smelled like the house we stayed at in Tallahassee. It was all sand complete with a plantation style back drop. We took our seats and the show began. It was a spectacal of north vs. south civil war mania. Think the wild west happening right in front of your eyes with flashy lights, a ring leader who looked like Lemmey from motorhead and people in the most sparkly clothing you've ever seen. There was also a part with a lady dressed up in neon clothing like in that terrible Batman movie with Poison Ivy flying around like a native american eagle. The tokers had to have a good time with that. The girls we are staying with happen to work at Dixie and they told us that a select few would actually get to participate in the nights show.

The first two people up were Tyler and Vic. They came out after a horse race and the ring leader told them they were going to ride some horses. They all stepped up to these women on horses thinking they were going to get on and race. Then the women left and the boys were handed those little horses on a pole. They were fighting for the north. They had to lap around barrels twice, winner takes all. Tyler started off by going the wrong way around the barrels and we were all losing our minds. On the 2nd lap tyler took off his safari hat and started twirling it around his head like a fucking cowboy. I almost threw up my plate of food which consisted of soup, a biscuit, an entire chicken, a slab of pork, a ootato and a pastry. $40 a ticket, 13 of us got in for free. Of course as Tyler and Vic exited the arena Danny and I shot Vic with a birdman and he had to lie down in front of 400 people.

I sat there waiting for something else cool to happen in the show. The ring leader said some people were gonna play some Carolina style horseshoe. Two men entered the arena and to my surprise one of those men was none other than Aaron fucking Broveak. I couldn't believe my eyes. Aaron entered wielding finger pistols and walking like a drunken cowboy from the 1800's. He told the ring leader his name was "Chino"...the crowd was silent. Then the man called Aaron "Cheeto" and asked him where he was from. Aaron won the competition for our side, the north. When he was asked who he was at the show with a spotlight was put on all of us and we stood up in exuberant joy, screaming for our man Aaron winning his Dixie Stampede medal.

This post in no way describes how insane Dolly Partons Dixie Stampede is. If you're ever in Myrtle Beach, SC you need to go see this show. Hands down the craziest shit I have ever seen. Even though we don't have a show today this has probably been the best day of tour and it's only 7:45. We're about to throw in A Goofy Movie and party real hard at this house for one more night. Heading to Atlanta, GA tomorrow. I'll be able to explain this madness better in person. I miss you all a lot. I'll be home in 9 days. 

FRIDAY, MARCH 6TH @ KNICKERBOCKERS in Lincoln

HERCULES
THE JV ALL*STARS
BENEFIT OF A DOUBT

late show! come out! party after @ ghost house!