fear the new year

My last post of 2009 isn't a positive one. All I've seen through out this year is the slow decay of everything I've been working for since I started playing in bands when I was 10 years old. Ever since then music has been a builder of friendships and community. It's opened my eyes to so many amazing ideas and better yet, amazing people. It taught me how to be a good person and not to follow all of the things we get force fed growing up. It gave me my own mind and better yet taught me to stand on my own even when everyone around me was telling me I was wrong.

Now nearly 12 years later all I am seeing is all of that fading away. People growing up and falling off because they never really cared about this anyways. I thought most of the people I knew were different than that. I thought we were all in this together until someone came and ripped it from our dead hands. But now we're getting less and less interested in working to keep this together. Some people are still doing what they can but lately it seems like nothing will work. Omaha stays in Omaha and Lincoln stays in Lincoln.

I could be making mountains out of molehills and maybe over exaggerating one little event, but it's a series of little events that have made this hole in what we cared about so much. Friendships are dying and no one seems to notice. It hurts a lot because when this is dead what are we going to have left? Just empty, destroyed houses with faint reminders of what was once accomplished by a group of poor kids that the world didn't give a fuck about. What are they searching for as they all fall out? A career? Security? In these times I think that we should be more concerned about our happiness and less concerned about our wallets. Just because the world around us is falling apart doesn't mean that we have to.

2010 is looking bleak to me.