After the show the Hercules crew went to this really sweet gay bar right next to the Viaduct. We were hanging out having and a great time. We ended up meeting this lady named Jumapili (joo ma pee lee) and she invited us back to her house. Jumapili is a 43 year old women with long dreadlocks in her hair and she was really into Danny. We stop at 7 Eleven so she can buy some booze for the dudes to drink. We show up at her tiny house and at the same time her boyfriend shows up with his other girlfriend? It was a confusing situation. We all pile into a room that's probably 7x7 feet long to hang out. This other girl then starts to tell me her fucking life story and all of the crazy drugs she's addicted to. I have 10 minutes of video of this lady telling me about her ups and downs with coke, rehab and her therapist. It was the crazy shit ever and I cannot wait to tell you all.
Everyone got really drunk and high. Our buddy Jeff from HHTSHOTE drove 5 hours from some town in Washington just to hang out with us and it was awesome. Tyler got so drunk he spent most of the night puking in and sleep on the bathroom floor. As this is happening we're watching the new episode of South Park and Jumapili is telling us about her crazy life. Apparently she is the inventor of the image uploader that is used on myspace, facebook and countless other websites. She is a gulf war veteran and has been married 4 times. Now she lives with her boyfriend and I think his other girlfriend. It was a nutty time. We finally scooped Tyler off the bathroom floor and hit the road.
The next day we had a show in Portland, Oregon...or so we thought. We rolled early into Portland and hit up the incredible local spot Voodoo donuts. Me, Gabe and Matt got a Voodoo Dozen and it was truly fucking amazing. Probably the best donuts I've ever had. Crazy varieties, pretty much anything and everything you could imagine. Vegan donuts that Vic would have came for. We also hit up a Thai cart that had insanely good pad Thai. We cruised around downtown for a long time and finally stopped at one of the best record shops I've been to 2nd Ave Records. I had to get out of there because I could have easily spent over $1,000 on records right then. Here's where our day get's real interesting.
The promoter for the show wanted to meet up so we met her at 2nd Ave. After 5 minutes of a car ride with her it's already apparent that she's a little off. She keeps telling us she can't get a hold of the dude with a PA and can't get a hold of anyone with a key to the venue we're playing at. But she assures us that the show is still on. She also tells us after the show she is getting us food and a hotel room. We cruise around the city more and she just keeps getting weirder and weirder. Finally it's about 6:00pm and she tells us the show is definitely off and that she has to babysit her brother at 7:30...
We stop at the Satyricon to try and hop on a show but it wasn't looking good. She then tells us 20 minutes away in Vancouver, Washington there's a bands tour kickoff show that we can play. She also said it's perfect because it's close to her house so we can come over for food after. We load up and make the drive to this venue Pop Culture. It's like an old time soda shoppe and a venue as well. We're playing a show for Grab The Cameras cd release show. We're told we're going on last so we can just set up merch and hang out. We then sit through 3 hours of the worst metalcore I've heard since 2005. Every band has a weird light show and sounds pretty awful.
Finally the last band is done and it's time for us and Battle to set up. At this point the promoter girl is still not back at the show. We were wondering how she was planning on originally doing our show if she had to babysit her brother all night. To save time us and Battle decide to share equipment. We get all set up then the promoter for the metalcore show approaches us to tell us the show is over and we can't play. Apparently we were never supposed to play, we were just allowed to come there and sell merch...
We're all pissed as shit. I'm so mad I start smashing my head into signs until I get a nice cut up there. Riley is punching shit, we're honking horns, we're yelling, we're wondering where the fuck this girl is. Some friends of Matt's in Portland give him a call and ask him why we weren't at our original show. Apparently they showed up to the 1st venue and a lady was there saying there was supposed to be a show at 9 but the promoter didn't show up. I then get on our myspace and a band we got to play the Portland show messaged us pissed asking us why we didn't show up to the show tonight. So after 3 hours of metalcore and setting up our shit only to be told we couldn't play...our original show was on all along. We had a lot of Portland friends who were pumped to come to the show then were told at the door it was off.
We need some fucking answers so we decide to head to the promoters house (she still never showed up to the show...?). She told us to come on over because she made us fajitas. We show up there and tell her how we didn't get to play the metalcore show and that our original show was a go all along. She didn't understand ANY of that but at this point I was done with this girl. She also informed us that she was "really sorry" but she had eaten the fajitas she made for us. We had it so we took some food and hit the road. By the way...not hotel room.
On our way to Taco Bell we get pulled over for "suspicious activity" and our burnt out headlight. In seconds we are surrounded by 5 cop cars. After our experience at the border you could say we weren't too excited about the situation. One cop is taking all of the our info then another rolls up to the window. Matt is carrying what's left of our Voodoo donuts and the cop tells us they were all there because they smelled the donuts. We then start talking music and he's telling us how he's seen Rush 5 times and the first time was in Germany in 1986. The first cop is trying to be professional while this guy tells him "hold on I'm telling these guys a story." Basically this Rush cop saved us and we didn't get busted and were free to go.
During all of this that girl is texting Aaron, pissed that we didn't say goodbye. Apparently her parents saw that we were pulled over and she told us she was coming to find us. Terrified we hid out in a Fred Meyer's parking lot and saw her drive by in hot pursuit of us. It was scary shit and we all screamed as she drove by. Luckily an old friend who tried to go to our show got a hold of us to see what was up then said we could crash at his apartment. After 3 of the craziest days of our lives we finally got to hang out, eat pizza and just sleep.
Yesterday we played a decent show in Redding. We drove overnight to Reno where we're playing tomorrow. We had today off since the Set It Straight reunion canceled our show in Sacramento. We've spent today cruising Reno and are getting all dolled up to hit the streets and the Casinos hard in about an hour here. The trashiest place I've ever been in was a Mcdonalds we stopped at today. Crack head lady singing Incubus, a man with terrible burns and no eyes, bums as far as the eye could see and a 17 year old security guard reading the bible.
Time for me the shave up and get ready to party! I'll be home in a week. Until next time . . .
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